By Munene Kilongi
It is a truth locally acknowledged that a married man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a pretty side-chick.
Flocks of willing bumptious beauties are all over town. The former hewer of wood and beast of burden has taken matters into her hands and is emerging into a sex consciousness that’s causing national outrage.
Some Kenyans are saying we are in the revelation times and the ‘beast’ is rapidly manifesting as they observe our sistas ‘rappelling’ down a murky abyss.
They have gone wild! A tad overboard going by the uproar on morning radio talk shows. And the acres of newspaper columns dedicated to the fierce passion unleashed by our sistas on men with money.
From corporate women to horny feminists, high school and college students to married women, the whole caboodle – have gone off kilter and are willing to ‘dance’ to the piper’s tune if he can show the money.
Mr handsome went the way of the immobile phone, as rotund pot-bellied men, and white-haired geezers give young men a run for the money. As they emit a halo of benevolence that disguises an instinct for mischief.
In this time when more women are enrolling in university than men, a wide array of attentive beauties including single, educated, and, intelligent women earning enough money to live an enviable lifestyle are at their beck and call.
These money men say all women are the same it’s only how they come “packaged.”
With so many instant millionaires around town instant relationships are the rave. Our sistas have “upped” their game and it’s advisable for all males to keep off relationships if they have no money to burn. This has left a few men in the ‘desirability’ scale surrounded by millions of willing women.
But what is jarring about this viral obsession with money is that our young sistas are willing to throw themselves at lecherous old men who’ll dump them on a whim while they dismiss their ‘future husbands’ who are hustling as “broke and useless.”
This money men’s spendthrift reputation has ‘soiled’ the graceful name of charity givers and philanthropists turning it around into a tetchy title few like carrying around this days. Because they are known as — ‘Sponsors.’
Envious looks follow every Sponsor’s move, sexy smiles from adoring women are one too many. They are treated as celebrities in their own category as they spend money like there’s no tomorrow.
It’s not the fault of many to hunger at a Sponsor and his prestigious perch.
In a country where the official and criminal classes are indistinguishable, money flows through the bottomless government coffers to those who deal in favors and not work. Corruption is rewarded not honesty, sleaze is idolized and get-rich-quick schemes are the only chance for the holloi polloi to sample the easy life – a sponsor is a boon.
Rich old men banging pretty young girls is not a new phenomenon. It’s the way our sistas have rushed into this trend with a thousand-watt gusto that’s confounding.
It all begun when a bootyful video vixen wagged her endowed derriere into national spotlight and caught the fancy of the male public. Propelling her to national notoriety. And attracting men with well-endowed pockets to her breeches.
Vera Sidika an unapologetic socialite was soon sharing photos on her social media accounts living the lifestyle of the rich and shameless courtesy of her ‘sponsors.’
Her frequent forays to exotic holiday spots and million-dollar lifestyle in yachts, brand new Range Rover gifts, $4500 hair weaves, and other expensive presents have caught the fancy of young impressionable girls. She crowned her hedonistic persona with an outrageous full body bleach reportedly costing more than “$200,000” that ‘whitened’ her dark body.
Causing nationwide consternation and earning her spots on the BBC and CNN.
To top off her ‘success’ she now stars in a local reality show that celebrates the sexy and ‘blonde’ lifestyle.
The trappings of materialism have become our sistas new religion and Vera is the high priestess. She is now a role model to millions of young girls in high schools and colleges.
Her swanky lifestyle has spawned copy cats all over town. Now big booties enhanced by cheap ‘snake’ oils, and dainty little dames can be seen under brief miniskirts, lightened skin, and, double DD fake boobs.
Bold young girls and media personalities are filling their social media accounts with their topless and nude photos as they wait for an ‘agreeable’ sponsor to make their move.
You see… A sponsor has to be snagged by any means necessary.
The rest of the pack prefer being discreet in their hunt for a rich hubby.
Because many females have extravagant hopes but the shilling is barely making the rounds. As the taps of prosperity are being milked dry by the elite and their acolytes who are the nation’s role models.
But here’s the scary part. Those who follow the rules and laws of this peculiar country are bound to live a short, frustrating, and impoverished life. While the morally corrupt break every rule and prosper. Above all, they live a fucking rich and long life.
The women say they need to look good which is impossible with their ‘magic!’ salaries (that disappears as soon as it arrives). They want to wear the latest fashion, Brazilian weaves, tot sleek smart phones, and drive posh cars.
Lucky for them, the country is brimming with myriads of sponsors who are willing to make money rain.
The ordinary men say the women have dropped their game out of materialistic desperation and have become easy pickings. While the females say they prefer dating successful men (who are almost always married).
Beneath the façade of money-love is a business transaction that lives everyone happy but is bound to get scandalous when the fat cat jumps out of the bag.
Like the case of Cheryl Gitonga, a law student in her early twenties. No one, including her boyfriend (like many average guys) would have known about her ‘double’ life until her ‘sponsor,’ a prominent and outspoken city tycoon was assassinated in cold blood. She was the last person to be seen with him.
They had spent some ‘quality time’ at his house. Press reports infer she was paid Kshs 30,000 ($300).
A fortune in a country where the average bloke can barely scratch $100 in a month.
Our bombastic social media world went aflame. “Slut! Slut! Slut!” The men shouted. Some women congratulated her for being a ‘sharp’ girl while others were against her being exposed by the media saying it was “in bad faith.”
Now fewer men want to get married because disjointed relationships are on the rise even though most women’s goal is to get hitched.
Millenial marriages are a phone’s password away from ruin and couples have taken to tolerating each other for the sake of kids, and, to dupe society.
Because many never interrogated the reason for marrying in the first place. But there’s hope. Hundreds of young couples are blissfully married.
Sidelined for his lean pockets — the abandoned boy-child — is not taking this crap while lying down. He has learnt to fake it. Many pass themselves off as successful businessmen and entrepreneurs content with life and have become the kings of one-night-stands. The public fondly calls them mafisi (greedy hyenas).
They say the women are cheap and they’re only taking advantage of the easy pickings arising from this new feminist culture.
The fisis say nowadays you only need to buy some beers and nyama choma, then talk big and she’s the one who’ll push to get laid.
.
By the time she gets wind he’s just another broke-ass hustler the fisi has disappeared. It makes sense because the next thing she’ll demand he pays her rent among several other requests.
The sistas say you can’t eat love, you need money to eat. In fact, they point out our country’s first president, Jomo Kenyatta, who at a strumming 62 years married our first first lady – then an 18 year old spring chicken – as the pioneering sponsor.
Meanwhile, our Sista’s future husbands are hustling somewhere with useless degrees because merit doesn’t count. Or probably he’s engaged in the sports betting craze that is the source of employment for millions of jobless Kenyans.
Ms Anyango, formerly of Kapiyo village in Kisumu County learnt the hard way the virtue of patience that is lacking in our society. She ‘dumped’ her former husband, 62 year old Joseph Onywera, for being too poor to provide for the family’s basic needs.
With few jobs to go around Joseph’s only source of income was from sports betting.
In late May he won the jackpot prize of Kshs 20 million ($200,000) and immediately, Ms Anyango – who is married to another man – came back to plead for reconciliation blaming the devil for their breakup.
Joseph, a Single man in possession of a great fortune has rebuffed her moves. And despite now being the most ‘handsome’ man in his village his heart is set on only one woman.
The lady who gave him love, comfort, and, succor during the hard times when money was scarce.
The author can be contacted through: munenekilongi@gmail
Twitter: @kilongi
the peculiar kenyan 